First, now that I've quit smoking I believe I can finally write with some authority. Before, I thought that if I smoked, I just lost all credibility. I'm an addict. I know.
So now that I've admitted it to the wide world , myself and family, it's time to embrace the opportunity that it can bring to be quit.
The first one of course is that I now can step forth with some feeling of confidence because my actions are congruent with how I see myself. That is huge for an addict or for this addict, I can't speak for others. It just makes sense though because I wasn't born that way, just with the potential. I have other more important potential that we can focus on now that we've got the "stuff" out of the way.
The second opportunity is that I've wanted to quit for some time and somehow through a series of planned and unplanned but prepared for events I quit because the stars aligned and I figured if my alcoholic sister could quit drinking and then quit smoking too, then certainly I could do it.
I admire that about her and I witnessed the strength that it takes for her to withstand the temptations. I was in CA, staying with my Mom for two weeks while my Mom was undergoing chemo for her breast cancer. It was then that I had an opportunity to hang out with my sister. We live on different coasts so usually it's impossible. I travel to CA fairly often (two or three times a year) but my sister usually makes herself scarce. She has her own life and obligations and we really don't have a relationship. I told her she was my role model for quitting and it's true. I really had the thought that if SHE could do it, then I certainly could. I hope she felt that was a compliment because it was.
Other opportunities arose because quitting a habit, an addiction isn't easy. I had to think of other things, replace the habit with positive thoughts and focus on the good things that would result from my decision instead of just doing what I wanted in the moment. I had to settle my mind so it would not be impulsive.
Somehow I think that happened in the two weeks I was at my Mom's. I read alot and focussed on other people and not my impulses. I tried to be quiet and non reative. I tried to understand the dynamics of being in someone else's house when they have cancer. I had to be unobtrusive, respectful of other people's responses to the situation. I had to observe and stay detached from my ego so that I could be available to serve my Mom in all the ways necessary. So that meant I could not afford to be reactive to anything.
So let me go back a little farther to where this pursuit of health really began.
It all started with my Mom. She would occasionally rant about issues and one of them was healthcare. This was many years ago when she was referring to my older sister's ex-in-laws. They were both extremely heavy smokers. They both had several open heart surgeries. Probably three or four times, they quit and then eventually returned to the habit. My mother said that we had to be responsible for the things we did to our bodies. That no matter how much hospitals could do to fix us temporarily, our good health was up to us.
Of course, that is true and as she also raised us to be responsible for our own actions, I always believed I was responsible for most things in my life or at least what I did or how I responded to anything.
Like most people, I wasn't born knowing what was best for me and I didn't have good examples for the most part. So over time I've experimented. Finally, now that I think I'm learning some things worth sharing, I will.
This blog will include not only things about nutrition but about my life philosophies. You've got to take them both or skip this altogether. Because this is really about ME teaching you. I can only do it through my experience and I'll be true to myself and to the reader.
